Rotation Stand-ins

With my awesome MS paint skills and my attempt to find famous people who look similar to baseball players, I did my best to come up with an “alternate” rotation. So, if you’re wondering what to do if one of Cleveland’s pitchers is suddenly injured, look no further. I have here some fine replacements for the starting rotation.

C.C. Sabathia

The Leprechaun Guy – Off to a fast start in Mobile, Alabama, he can clearly get the crowd behind him. He has a strong sense of leadership. His most famous move is this one: “Who else see the leprechaun say ‘yeah!’” If C.C. should fall to injury or hit the free agent market after the 2008 season, this is the guy who should replace him.

Fausto Carmona

The Other Leprechaun Guy – Obviously, the first leprechaun guy is the famous one. But don’t overlook this one. He’s a smart player, which is evidenced by his foresight to bring a video camera in hopes of catching the leprechaun on film. Like Carmona, he is still fairly young, so he should fit right into the rotation in Fausto’s place.

Paul Byrd

Frasier Crane – Clearly an intellectual player, Frasier is also known for his competitive edge. He is used to a cooler climate, spending most of his life in Boston and Seattle. “Frasier is a team player,” says former KACL teammate Roz Doyle. Granted, he is slightly older than Paul Byrd, but he will still fit nicely into the middle of the rotation. As a bonus, he has a brother that can fill in for him if the need arises.

Cliff Lee

Guitarist From Matchbox 20 – Ok, this is a bit of a stretch, I know. But this was the best I could do. Like Lee, he isn’t quite frontman material, but as someone in the background, he gets the job done and will surprise you on occassion. I can only assume he is a lefty, so he will be able to fill that slot in the rotation should Lee go back to the DL. His signature move is mesmerizing hitters with his tasteful guitar playing.

Jeremy Sowers

The Guy That was on Friends – The One With Chandler in a Box – He is subject to getting himself into awkward situations, like going to his father’s ex-girlfriend’s apartment for Thanksgiving while Chandler is in a box. His ability to get through these situations is a plus, but he has little experience. After that one appearance on Friends, he was sent back to AAA.

Well, this is what happens when the Indians lose and I don’t feel like talking about the real team. Pretty weird, I know.

Cory

Power Rankings

Power rankings are a good way to see where the national media is in terms of its opinion of different teams. Its also a good way to see how wrong the “experts” can be. Before the 2006 season started, the Indians were ranked #1 on some power ranking..and I think the Indians JUST missed living up to that last year. So I don’t know how well I trust these rankings, but I do like to look at them and compare. There are three main ones that I look at: ESPN, CBS, and Baseball Prospectus. Here’s a look at the three as of today:

Both ESPN and BP got pretty down on the Indians after that Yankee sweep. A sweep which still wakes me up at night in a cold sweat. To give ESPN credit, they didn’t completely abandon the Indians after that meltdown like BP apparently did. The Indians went from the #2 team to #19 because of that sweep. A .500 team and they were demoted to #19. That’s harsh, BP. CBS does their rankings at weekly intervals, but at different points in the week, so their ranking wasn’t right after the Yankee debacle, which is why they didn’t give a double digit ranking.

Also, people complain that the Indians don’t get much respect from the media. I agree that they don’t get much airtime on ESPN, but you can see by the rankings that the averages of these three are all in the 4 and 5 range. But power rankings don’t bring the fans to the park.

Speaking of fans at the park..I wish more people would get out there and watch the games. Indians fan that live in the Cleveland area can just get up and go to a game. I live in Oklahoma, by the way, so both Tony and I (huge baseball fans) are at least 3-4 hours away from a Major League team. I have never been to Cleveland, but I’d like to someday so I can see the Jake. The moral of the story…go see them play. Who cares if the Cavs are in the finals!

If anybody is reading this and anxiously awaiting what’s next..then I pity you. I’m sure Tony would like to talk about what could be done to make the Rangers contenders in 2008. He’ll make some good points as he is channeling all the pain of this 2007 season into ideas of how to fix the team for next season.

Cory

Projected Stats

On days that I have way too much free time, I end up doing stuff like this: going to espn.com and looking at the projected statistics for the entire Indians team. What a life I live..

As you might already know, projected stats are basically the current statistics stretched out over the entire year. So if someone hits a homerun in the first game of the season, they are projected to hit 162 homeruns that year (that will never happen, except Ryan Garko in 2008). So here are some projected statistics for the Indians as of today (June 7th):

Very interesting, huh.. Some of those numbers don’t quite work out..for example, the Dellucci/Michaels combo is projected to have 800+ at bats, which I’m GUESSING they won’t get. Also, Perez only has 11 IP under his belt so far, but his projected stats look nice, don’t they?

Now, what would this be without some kind of reference to a movie? Nothing, that’s what. So we’re going spaghetti western today with The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. I will pick some different numbers from these projected stats that fall under the different categories.

The Good

The power numbers: The first six hitters are projected to hit 20+ homeruns. Four guys are projected to have 90+ RBI.

Victor Martinez: That looks like an MVP season..if he even comes anywhere close to that, as a catcher, that is an insane season.

Ryan Garko: Consistency and pretty decent power at .320 with 22 homers.

Kelly Shoppach: Those would be decent numbers for any catcher, but as a backup catcher..well, then he’s just showin off.

First half of the rotation: Well, obviously. They are projected to have a combined 55-10 record with ERAs ranging from 3.11 to 3.80.

C.C., Byrd, and Betancourt’s K/BB ratio: Pretty much the reason these guys are so successful right now.

Anybody named Rafael: Betancourt makes the bullpen decent. Perez, though in limited play, could only be better if he had a negative ERA. Fultz should change his name to Rafael as well, with his 1.65 ERA and the fact that he is keeping guys off the bases.

Borowski’s saves: I’d take 43 saves. On the other hand..his other numbers..(pulling my collar) yeeeeeeee.

The Bad

Hafner’s numbers: While .272 with 28 homers would be a good season for most, we all know Travis Hafner is more than mere mortal. He could be hitting .320 with a projected 50 homers and nobody would be that surprised. So to say this is bad is a stretch, I guess, but it is just so terribly un-Carl-Farbman-like (Seinfeld reference).

Corner outfielders: Between Michaels, Dellucci, and Trot, you are looking at a projected 28 homers from power positions. That’s not QUITE what you’d like from those spots.

Half of the bullpen: In Charles Dickens’ “Tale of Two Bullpens”, he writes about a group of pitchers (Betancourt, Fultz, and Perez) who are effective and help the team win, then he unfortunately writes about another group (Mastny, Cabrera, and Hernandez) who all have 5.00+ ERAs and are letting close to 1.5-2 runners on per inning (that .5 is when someone like Eddie Gaedel reaches base). I’ve tried to contact Mr. Dickens to tell him to erase the part about the second bullpen, but I found out he’s been dead for over 130 years. As a note of interest, Roberto Hernandez was actually Dickens’ best man. I should lay off the Hernandez-old jokes, but they are too fun.

The Ugly

Half of the rotation: I saved this for the ugly section. Out of Lee, Sowers, and Westbrook, the best ERA is Lee’s 6.35. At their current pace, they are on their way to a smooth 11-28 record, which I think even the Royals would laugh at. Ugly in its own right is Sowers’ 0.76 K/BB ratio. He is the anti-Byrd right now and I hope that he’ll turn it around somehow.

Borowski’s ERA: In a perfect world, your closer comes in, gets the other team 1-2-3, and girls like geeky guys named Tony and Cory. In the Cleveland Indians world, your closer comes in, you take a few shots of Pepto Bismol, and geeky guys named Cory sit at home and write about the projected stats of a baseball team. Basically, what I’m saying is..if Borowski’s ERA was 1.29 instead of 7.29, my life would be totally different.

Mike Rouse: Now, I’m sure Rouse is a nice guy and all but I am not a big fan of the numbers he has put up. You might say…the numbers and I…we don’t get along. It’s not a huge deal, since he isn’t played too often anyway. So that means, even with the feud between me and his statistics, I can get by if I just don’t make eye contact with his statistics when I pass them in the hall.

That weird statement there is my cue to exit. As you can see, I do like to look at baseball stats..so that pretty much makes me the coolest person alive. Maybe I can get Tony to talk about some Rangers projected stats. He is supposed to do some draft analysis, so if he does that, be ready to be amazed.

Cory

Meet Your Hosts

 

Tony’s strikezone was small this game.  I’d catch it on the corner and..nothin.

 

Cory and Tony were raised in a small town in Jamaica where they had dreams of becoming track stars.  However, on the day of the big race, one runner tripped and ruined both of their chances.  Determined to make it to the Olympics, they tried the one thing nobody expected: bobsledding.  Arriving in Calgary, they found that people treated them differently.  Qualifying times were changed, rules were altered..anything to prevent them from competing.  Finally, with a chance to get the gold, they crashed and the crowd fell silent.  Cory said to Tony “Tony..you dead?” to which Tony replied “ya mon.”  They got up and proudly carried their sled to the finish line to the cheers of their own competition.  After this whole ordeal, they decided “hey, why not make a baseball blog?”  And here we are today.

 

Hahahah..oh man, Tony looks like The Predator.

Surprises

Class is boring so I had the idea of talking about teams that are doing better or worse than I expected. So let’s start with teams that are doing worse.

Worse Than Expected
The New York Yankees – As much as everyone in the world hates the Yankees (I think even Gandhi would hate them), we all have to admit that they should be a good team. 200 million dollars doesn’t buy the easy season it used to. I’ll give them the bad luck argument.. If there was an all Disabled List team, like an All Star team, I think Yankee players would make up the team. Obviously, their biggest problem has been pitching, but a lot of hitters have underachieved..I won’t name names but they rhyme with Schmabreu and Schmiambi. I expected another Red Sox-Yankee showdown in the AL East this year, but so far, this isn’t the case. The Devil Rays-Yankee rivalry is the new hot ticket in town.

The Texas Rangers - As sad as this makes Tony, the Rangers are not doing as well as we had thought. I like their core group of players and I thought that the pitching would be improved this year. Guys like Michael Young, Ian Kinsler, and Hank Blalock are good players to build around. The outfield needs some help, but the bullpen is solid (the opposite of the Indians, so maybe there is a trade somewhere in there..? COUGHakiCOUGH). For some reason, the starting pitching, even proven pitchers like Millwood, always struggles. I’m sure the ERAs for some of these guys will have to come down eventually..it’s Newton’s Law of Rangers Pitchers..what goes up, must come down. I like Ron Washington too. He seems nice and looks like Richard Pryor. Maybe the Rangers need to hire a coach that looks like Gene Wilder.

The Chicago Cubs - With the money they spent this year, I thought they would compete in a pretty weak division. Supposedly, Lou Piniella was going to be the savior of this team. I guess taking a team with high expectations and mixing it with a manager who doesn’t like to be disappointed..there is a lot of pressure there. The team’s chances aren’t shot since they are in the NL Central, but I thought they could run away with the division and..clearly….I was wrong.

The St. Louis Cardinals - Poor St. Louis.. they win a World Series and the whole city is on top of the world, then the team comes back next year and acts like “well..we won one championship, there’s no rush to win another one.” The season started off bad with bad pitching, then the death of Josh Hancock made things worse for the team. It’s a sad state of affairs over in St. Louis town..but they’ll always have Pujols vs Lidge in 05.

The Philadelphia Phillies - Granted, they aren’t in the cellar, but if Jimmy Rollins says they are “the team to beat” then they better play like a team to beat. Apparently, other teams accepted the statement, taking it quite literally to mean “The Phillies: A team for everyone to beat.” They aren’t that bad, though..around .500 right now. Ryan Howard started off slow, so maybe when he’s completely back to Ryan Howard status, they can compete for the wild card.

Better Than Expected
The Boston Red Sox - I expected them to be good, but not this good. Who knew Beckett was going to dominate? I didn’t. The scary thing is that some of the hitters haven’t come around yet (Lugo, Ortiz). Both Tony and I agree, though, that DiceK has a bit of..arrogance to him, which we don’t like. It’s hard to root for a player that is making more money than the state of Iowa has (which is why nobody likes the Yankees). Overall though, they’re pitching has been a lot better than I thought it would be.

The Cleveland Indians - Even as a fan, I was still expecting a slow start this year. I thought they’d be maybe four games over .500 at this point, not 14. Needless to say, I’m happy about their start..I can only hope they keep it up. My main reason for concern, and it still is concerning, is the bullpen. Going in, I thought “all right, we have Joe Borowski, Keith Foulke, and Roberto Hernandez..guys who have all been closers in the past..no problem.” But then Foulke announced his retirement and reality set in that Hernandez is a Civil War veteran. So it came down to a group of Borowski, Hernandez, Rafael Betancourt, Tom Mastny, Fernando Cabrera, Jason Davis, and Aaron Fultz. I was not excited. So far, they have done enough to win most games, but the real reason the team has done so well is Fausto Carmona and Paul Byrd having surprisingly good seasons (even though Jeremy Sowers and Cliff Lee are having surprisingly bad seasons and Jake Westbrook is injured). One part of me thinks..guys like Carmona, Byrd, Jhonny Peralta, and Ryan Garko will have to come back down a little, but then another part of me thinks that Sowers, Lee, Grady Sizemore, Travis Hafner have to pick it up..so maybe it will all balance out.

The Seattle Mariners - Don’t act like you didn’t think they’d be horrible again. Maybe I’m bitter because of the game they cost the Indians earlier this season. Paul Byrd had a shutout going in a snowy game..just one strike away and Mike Hargrove (who I USED to like) stalls and the game gets canceled. Players like Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson are poster boys for underachieving. They get paid more money than I will make in a lifetime and don’t live up to it. With a guy like Felix Hernandez though, I guess your team can’t be HORRIBLE.

The Atlanta Braves - I didn’t expect them to compete in the NL East this year. After missing the playoffs last year for the first time since some teenagers have been alive, I thought they might enter a rebuilding mode and play for the future. They got a lot of bullpen help, like Rafael Soriano and Mike Gonzalez (even though he is injured right now). Some younger players are standing out, so they have been able to stay competitive in a fairly tough division…so……good job, Braves.

This season has had a lot of unexpecteds. Who would have thought..A-Rod making Yankee fans happy but the Yankees keep losing.. But, as they say, a baseball season is a marathon, not a sprint, so we’ll see what happens in the next 100 games.

Cory

Cleveland Indians April/May Report Card

With nothing better to do before I go to sleep, I will try to analyze the Indians as they are now.

***** Starting Lineup *****

Victor Martinez ** A ** When he hits a homer, shouldn’t everyone say “Thank you for shopping at V-Mart”? I would, and I’m sure Tony would…but maybe that’s just us. Anyway, I’m happy with V-Mart this year. He is the most consistently solid hitter right now, hitting for both average and power. He is producing runs while Hafner is slumping. Also, he is way better at throwing out runners this year. In fact, he threw out two runners tonight against the Royals. I know..that’s like shooting two fish in a barrel when the fish are already dead..but still, it’s something positive.

Ryan Garko ** A ** I have good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my payroll by switching to Garko at first base. Both last year and this year he was kind of in an underdog role of having to prove that he can play. After he hit something like .292 last year with 45 RBI in the last 50 games of the season, I assumed he was ready for “the show.” So there I was..twiddling my thumbs like an idiot, thinking he was the definite starting first baseman for 2007 when I read that he will have to prove that he can handle an everyday role (for defensive reasons or something..). Long story short, he started in a platoon role but now he is the everyday first baseman and one of the most consistent hitters on the team. Also, no complaints about his supposedly poor defense.

Josh Barfield ** B- ** This is a tough one to grade. I really like the Barf and I think his hitting will come around with more time. The downside is, right now, he is hitting around .240. However, when he does hit, they are usually pretty clutch hits. Right now, his projected stats show that he would get 82 RBI with a .240 average at his current pace. That’s good production out of the 9 hole. The only thing I hope is that he gets consistent and a good eye at the plate to get his OBP up and become a #2 hitter..that’s the only thing I hope. The reason he is still in the B range is because of his defense. He makes crazy plays all the time.

Jhonny Peralta ** B ** Right now, he is a solid hitter, putting up good power numbers for a middle infielder..but his defense, while not HORRIBLE, isn’t quite Omar status. What are you gonna do, though.. If he continues to hit about .300 and gets 25 homers, I don’t care.

Casey Blake ** B ** Casey Blake is the guy you love to hate. And by “you” I mean countless Indians fans. Personally, I think he is a versatile player who has helped the team a lot this year at third base. Sometimes his offense isn’t there. He has some patches where he hits about .200, then others where he hits .300. In the end, he balances out to a .260-.270 guy with some decent power, and can play almost any position you need. I like to imagine that he shows up to the ballpark everyday and says “where do you want me to play, skip!” And yes, I do believe all major league players refer to their manager as “skip.”

David Dellucci/Jason Michaels ** C- ** Eh..I’ll just throw these two together. No offense to them, but if they are going to be used like one player, then I’m going to write about them like they are one player. Let’s call this weird genetic mixture Station (Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey). Station should be hitting a little more than it is right now. There isn’t much power coming out of left field. One thing I do like about Station is some veteran leadership, but other than that, this is a bogus journey.

Grady Sizemore ** B+ ** Grady is my favorite current player, so I want to give him an A, but right now, his offense is a little under the expected. I know he will pick it back up..his average is down, his strikeouts are up..but he is still having an ok season, just not good by Sizemore standards. Grady Sizemore? Grady SizeLESS (I don’t know, I’m tired). But his defense and speed still make him better than most, even in an offensive slump. They will start to give him errors when he dives and doesn’t catch the ball because they will say he normally would catch it. If he gets better with the strikeouts..man, I don’t know what will happen. The universe won’t be able to contain him.

Trot Nixon/Other outfielders ** B- ** Like left field, this is kind of a platoon situation. Trot gets a lot of the starts and has done pretty well when he does play. But the Indians have other guys play right field..like Gutierrez or Choo. Let’s call this mixture Preparation. Let’s go with Preparation H. On the whole, Preparation H is good. Man, that was a lot of setup to get to an Austin Powers joke. Preparation H, like Station, isn’t a big power threat, but I guess if it can collectively .270+ with a little bit of power, then I’ll survive.

Travis Hafner ** B- ** I like Hafner and I know he’ll get back on track. He isn’t hitting horribly, but for him, it’s disappointing. He has the strikeout disease right now, too. The only cure is more Pronk bars. Once he gets out of his funk, the lineup will be, to quote Shaq, like the Pythagorean theorem..there is no answer (Acccording to some ESPN anchor, the answer is c squared).

***** Rotation *****

C.C. Sabathia ** A ** I don’t know why, but some people have doubted that he is an ace. If he puts up numbers like he is now, and last year, he can be the ace on my team (that sounded really gay..in a Top Gun way). Who cares about his size…he’s large and in charge. John Candy was a pretty large guy and didn’t he make us all laugh in Uncle Buck? Well the same can be said for C.C.

Fausto Carmona ** A ** Man, if I had the experience Fausto had as a closer last year, I would have packed up, moved to Cuba and changed my name. That was painful. But he bounced back and has been a Santana-beating machine. If he can have a career anywhere close to the way he is pitching now..then..AAAAAYYYY (Fonzie).

Paul Byrd ** A- ** You know when you are having a good dream but you know you are gonna wake up soon? That’s what it’s like with Paul Byrd AKA Frasier Crane. I think he is a good pitcher, but the way he has been pitching lately is crazy. Hardly any walks, yet he isn’t getting shelled when he keeps the ball in the strike zone. I don’t get it. I hope that he can keep it up, along with C.C. and Fausto, because the rest of the pitching staff is leading me to serious heart problems.

Cliff Lee ** C- ** All I can hope for is that he is still recovering from his injury. He’s been hit pretty hard lately, but did have a game or two where he looked like he was back on track. If he could at least not lose every other start, I’d be ok.

Jeremy Sowers ** D+ ** Man oh man..I was expecting Sowers to become the biggest star in the world. THE WORLD. But this doesn’t seem to be the case. He’s a soft-throwing lefty, so he doesn’t have it easy. I hope that it’s something he can work out in AAA, because if he could get on track, this rotation would be my new best friend.

***** Bullpen *****

Joe Borowski ** B ** Here’s a metaphor: Borowski is like a boat tipping and ALMOST turning over in the ocean, but not quite, then tips back to normal. Ok, I lied, that was a simile. Sometimes, he gets the job done without any problems. But sometimes..he has games that make me sad. Most of the time, he makes me nervous and I pass out and wake up a few hours later to find out that he actually ended up getting the save. He has had two really bad experiences this year, so I can’t put my trust in him completely, but he is getting the job done.

Rafael Betancourt ** B+ ** He is pretty solid, as usual. He doesn’t seem lights out to me, but he is working out pretty well as a setup man. I’d feel better if he had a variety of pitches, but oh well.

Tom Mastny ** B- ** Up until recently, he had been putting up pretty good numbers, but then he had a bad inning and that kind of ruined those good numbers. I still think he can be a solid relief pitcher..he’s a good 7th inning guy.

Roberto Hernandez ** D ** He seems nice and all but…man, I think he is a little too old for this job. I think he is a little too old for social security. Roberto Hernandez is so old..his phone number is 1. Roberto Hernandez is so old..his yearbook is signed by Jesus. Roberto Hernandez is so old..he isn’t pitching well for the Indians. That’s my least favorite of the jokes..because it hurts.

Fernando Cabrera ** C- ** Maybe for my next birthday, I will wish that he goes back to the way he pitched earlier this season. But my birthday isn’t until February, so it won’t work for this season.

And the rest ** B- ** Guys like Rafael Perez, Edward Mujica, Aaron Fultz haven’t pitched a whole lot, but seem to have been effective in the times they did.

***** Bench *****

Kelly Shoppach ** A ** He is the only reason I included a bench section. For his role on the team, he is doing as well as anyone could ask. He is hitting well, has some power, and he has an arm that prevents him from getting through airport security.

Mike Rouse ** C ** I don’t know much about Rouse. I’ve only seen him play a few times. He seems average to me. I like Joe Inglett though…he was good last year as a temporary second baseman. A hard player with some speed..seems like a good guy to have on your team. But what do I know..

***** Overall *****

** A- ** I’ll give the whole team an A- because they are in first, but they aren’t playing to their potential. A few players still need to come around. If that happens, and the bullpen can hold up, then I will be very happy this summer. If not…then onward and upward to 2008!

Cory