You might be the Cleveland Indians…

How you lose two out of three to the Nationals..I’ll never know..

Let’s change that to “You Might be the Cleveland Indians..”

If you make Scott Olsen look like Sandy Koufax, but make Justin Verlander look like..well..Scott Olsen..you might be the Cleveland Indians.

If you sweep the Tigers and the Twins, but can’t compete with the Royals and Nationals..youuuu might be the Cleveland Indians.

If your team has more platoons than the U.S. Army..youuu might be the Cleveland Indians.

If your backup catcher hits like Mantle but your DH hits like Mantle’s mother..youuu might be the Cleveland Indians.

If your team has to be in first place for two months just to get to 5-digit attendance..you might be the Cleveland Indians.

If you play your home games in both Ohio and Wisconsin..you might be the Cleveland Indians.

If the umpire awards your opponent a run three innings after it was scored..you might be the Cleveland Indians.

If you release a horrible player and he becomes a star on another team..you might just be the Cleveland Indians.

I’m joking..for the most part.  I love the team, but right now, it’s getting a little frustrating.  The worst part is that they aren’t playing like the Royals.. their pitching is doing pretty well and they have great offensive numbers..but those two never seem to coincide.  I’m convinced that if an Indians pitcher throws a complete game and allows just one run, he is more likely going to get a loss, but if that same pitcher gives up seven runs in the first, he is probably in line for a win or no decision.  That’s just the way this team works.  The opposite of every team that has ever existed.  Can’t beat the bad teams, but great against the good ones.  Oh well..just gotta hope everything falls into place.

Cory

I’m not one to take pleasure in the pain of others..

But the White Sox had it comin

Ever since 2005, I have DESPISED the White Sox.. The very thought of them..their fans, their players, their announcers…fills me with a kind of bitterness and rage that would shock Mike Tyson. Ok..not really THAT bad..but I do not like them at all.

I don’t have an irrational dislike of the team. It’s rooted in firm logic.

1) A.J. Pierzynski – if you like this guy, you should be locked up in a mental institution. He is like Hitler, but with less charm.

2) Ozzie Guillen – same goes..if you like him..mental institution. Also, the choking action he made to the Indians fans when they lost at the end of 2005 still pisses me off.

3) “The Hawk” – people have all sorts of ideas of what Hell will be like. I don’t know much about it, but I do know that it will be narrated by the Hawk. That’s enough to scare anyone into being a full-out religious zealot.

4) Jim Thome – he was supposed to be a lifelong Indian. However, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness drew him away (life = $$$, liberty = $$$, happiness = $$$$$$).

5) The fans – ok, not all the fans are bad..there are some cool ones out there, I know. However, I have seen more bad White Sox fans than I have any other team (except the Yankees and Red Sox, but they don’t count).

So now the White Sox stand at 29-41, 13.5 games back of 1st place and are challenging the Royals for the worst spot in the AL Central.. and believe me, the Royals are thrilled to finally have some competition. It’s been a little too easy for them to take last place year after year..finally they are getting a challenge. I know as soon as I write this, they White Sox will go on an unbelievable tear and leave me depressed and looking like an idiot..that’s a double whammy.

Cory

Closers

It was another one of those classic Joe Borowski appearances last night: shortness of breath, chest pains, numbness in my left arm, and the phone with a 9 and a 1 dialed, just waiting on that last 1. After irreparable damage to my heart, he did get the save, but man..can’t it be easier? I can’t complain because he is racking up saves like Tony stacking up chicken on his plate at that Las Vegas all-you-can-eat buffet (no idea what the name was). But it did get me thinking about closers in general. It seems like an easy job..come in and get three outs. A closer only pitches a few games a week. But obviously, it’s not that easy. So let’s look at some stats:

2004 Mariano Rivera - 53 saves with a 1.94 ERA. He only blew four saves, too. I can’t imagine having a closer I can trust. Even though Jose Mesa had some good times (and one specifically bad incident in 1997), Bob Wickman was shaky but got the job done and Joe Borowski is a science experiment in which they cloned Wickman and shaved off about 100 pounds. The 2004 Rivera had a great year and it carried over into the ALCS where he triumphed over the Red Sox..just kidding, he and the Yankees blew a three game series lead.

1998 Trevor Hoffman – 53 saves with a 1.48 ERA. I’m a little bitter that he didn’t sign with the Indians last year. He only allowed two homeruns in 1998. But he does have one weakness: Michael Young.

1990 Dennis Eckersley – 48 saves with a 0.61 ERA. With an ERA lower than Lindsay Lohan’s blood alcohol level (geez, insult on Lohan out of nowhere), I think it’s pretty safe to say that he was effective in 1990. He recovered from that Kirk Gibson thing pretty well.

Those are three of the best closer seasons I could dig up. Let’s switch gears to horrible HORRIBLE closer moments.

1993 Mitch Williams – How could I not mention this. Joe Carter, my favorite player of all time, hit the World Series-winning homer off Williams. That crack of the bat was the sound of Williams’ career ending.

2005 Brad Lidge – heh..I still chuckle about that one to this day. Pujols hit that homer off Lidge in the NLCS. If it was just a normal homerun, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. But this one landed somewhere in northern Russia. Ever since, Lidge hasn’t been the same. He tosses and turns all night saying “Pujols…..slider…..NEWMAINIUM!”"

1997 Jose Mesa – This one didn’t really happen..I’m just making it up for the sake of entertainment…sad, depressing entertainment. When is the worst time to blow a save? I think the unanimous answer is “Game 7 of the World Series.” So, of course, that’s what Joe Table decided to do. As a kid watching, I thought Craig Counsell’s sacrifice fly had a chance of going out and I thought it could have been a game-winning homer. Kids are stupid though..I didn’t think of the fact that “the Indians just blew it”..I only thought “man, that was almost out!” I was a little slow..

Well..those are some pretty bad moments. That’s why it’s tough to be a closer. You can save 300 games, but when you blow a huge one in the clutch, that’s all most people will remember. Honestly, I don’t know anything else about Mitch Williams except that I think he lives on a ranch and likely owns a gun. So in the end, the closer life sounds pretty glamorous, but it’s business as usual at Kramerica.

Cory

The Rangers: A Positional, Historical Retrospective: Part 1

Here’s a new feature I’ve been cooking up — a look back at how each position has progressed (or regressed, if you prefer) throughout my tenure as a Rangers fan. I decided to start in 1991, the beginning of the Pudge/Juan Gonzalez Era as well as the year I made the leap from tee-ball to machine pitch — definitely a year to remember.

Part 1: Catchers

1991-2002: The Pudge Era
In 12 years behind the plate in Arlington (starting at the age of 19), Pudge was a 10 time All-Star, won 10 Gold Gloves, won an MVP award, and was the face of the franchise. If it were up to me he’d still be back there. He should have retired a Ranger.

2003: The Einar Diaz Year
Let’s move on.

2004-2006: The Rod Barajas Era
He was the backstop for a couple of teams who made playoff runs, but in his three years in Arlington, Barajas flew out to left approximately 900 times.

2007: The Gerald Laird Transitional Phase
I’m calling it this because it’s becoming pretty apparant that Gerald Laird isn’t the long-term answer behind the plate. He’s a great left-handed side of a catching platoon but doesn’t hit righties well enough to play everyday. I’d like to see him shopped around while he still has that ‘everyday catcher’ tag on him.

Now let’s hop into the DeLorean, gun it to 88, and see what Marty and Doc Brown have to say about the future of the position…

If Taylor Teagarden (325/464/623) has to stay in A-ball much longer he’s going to start repeating Will Hunting’s “Do you know how fuckin’ easy this is to me? This is a joke!” speech to his teammates. He should be in Double-A by the All-Star Break and, if he can stay healthy, should be ready to assume full-time duty in Arlington by 2009. I have high hopes for the Taylor Teagarden Era — By all accounts he’s a terrific defender and I see him as a .260-.280 hitter with 20 homer power and enough walks to keep his OBP around .400.

Bah

What a crap day yesterday.  I don’t know how you go 12 innings without scoring a run.  It seems like you would accidentally score one somewhere in there.  If you would have told me that C.C. Sabathia would pitch nine shutout innings and get two hits himself, I would have said “all right..mark one down in the win column.”  But I’d be an idiot.  What’s worse is that I actually took the time to sit down and watch almost the entire game.  It was painful.

Do you ever want something you can’t have.  Of course you do.  Is the thing you want a helper monkey?  Probably not.  But how could you not want one of these fellas

Look at him go.  It’s like a little buddy and a butler, all in one little package.  It’s not like I would be a slave driver.  I’d rather he just hang out and watch TV with me.  If he occassionally feels the need to get up and make me a sandwich, then who am I to deny him that right.

Ok, intermission is over..back to baseball.  One issue of concern: who should be resigned, C.C. or Hafner?  I don’t know.  At first, I thought C.C. was gone for sure and Hafner was staying for sure.  In reality, the Indians might not sign either.  In a dream world, they would keep both of them.  Both have obvious strengths.  With each season, C.C. puts up better numbers.  Hafner makes the entire lineup look better when he is in the middle of it.  But here are some problems: C.C. will want a TON of money and Hafner is due to get probably 12-13 million a year at least.  For a DH, that’s a lot.  And with him struggling but the team still winning, you wonder if it’s worth it.  I have to say that the top priority is to resign C.C. because pitchers like him are very rare.  Especially given the way he can hit.  If he does go to another team, I hope it’s in the National League for two reasons.  One, I don’t want to face him.  Two, I want to see how he can hit over an entire season.  His numbers would be: 19-4, 3.17 ERA, 212 K, .328 avg, 12 homers, 73 RBI.  Maybe C.C. can be the 4-day DH if Hafner leaves, then pitch every 5th game.  This is all starting to make sense!

I would really like the Indians to win tonight.  They’ve been kind of up and down each game for the last week or so.  If they could go on a 7-1 or 8-1 run, they would be in great shape.  I won’t be comfortable until they make the playoffs and the White Sox don’t (I LOATHE the White Sox.  All that’s evil in the world was rolled into one entity and they called this evil being the Chicago White Sox).

Well, not much else to say right now..just hoping the Indians kick it up a notch.

Cory

Rotation Stand-ins

With my awesome MS paint skills and my attempt to find famous people who look similar to baseball players, I did my best to come up with an “alternate” rotation. So, if you’re wondering what to do if one of Cleveland’s pitchers is suddenly injured, look no further. I have here some fine replacements for the starting rotation.

C.C. Sabathia

The Leprechaun Guy – Off to a fast start in Mobile, Alabama, he can clearly get the crowd behind him. He has a strong sense of leadership. His most famous move is this one: “Who else see the leprechaun say ‘yeah!’” If C.C. should fall to injury or hit the free agent market after the 2008 season, this is the guy who should replace him.

Fausto Carmona

The Other Leprechaun Guy – Obviously, the first leprechaun guy is the famous one. But don’t overlook this one. He’s a smart player, which is evidenced by his foresight to bring a video camera in hopes of catching the leprechaun on film. Like Carmona, he is still fairly young, so he should fit right into the rotation in Fausto’s place.

Paul Byrd

Frasier Crane – Clearly an intellectual player, Frasier is also known for his competitive edge. He is used to a cooler climate, spending most of his life in Boston and Seattle. “Frasier is a team player,” says former KACL teammate Roz Doyle. Granted, he is slightly older than Paul Byrd, but he will still fit nicely into the middle of the rotation. As a bonus, he has a brother that can fill in for him if the need arises.

Cliff Lee

Guitarist From Matchbox 20 – Ok, this is a bit of a stretch, I know. But this was the best I could do. Like Lee, he isn’t quite frontman material, but as someone in the background, he gets the job done and will surprise you on occassion. I can only assume he is a lefty, so he will be able to fill that slot in the rotation should Lee go back to the DL. His signature move is mesmerizing hitters with his tasteful guitar playing.

Jeremy Sowers

The Guy That was on Friends – The One With Chandler in a Box – He is subject to getting himself into awkward situations, like going to his father’s ex-girlfriend’s apartment for Thanksgiving while Chandler is in a box. His ability to get through these situations is a plus, but he has little experience. After that one appearance on Friends, he was sent back to AAA.

Well, this is what happens when the Indians lose and I don’t feel like talking about the real team. Pretty weird, I know.

Cory

Power Rankings

Power rankings are a good way to see where the national media is in terms of its opinion of different teams. Its also a good way to see how wrong the “experts” can be. Before the 2006 season started, the Indians were ranked #1 on some power ranking..and I think the Indians JUST missed living up to that last year. So I don’t know how well I trust these rankings, but I do like to look at them and compare. There are three main ones that I look at: ESPN, CBS, and Baseball Prospectus. Here’s a look at the three as of today:

Both ESPN and BP got pretty down on the Indians after that Yankee sweep. A sweep which still wakes me up at night in a cold sweat. To give ESPN credit, they didn’t completely abandon the Indians after that meltdown like BP apparently did. The Indians went from the #2 team to #19 because of that sweep. A .500 team and they were demoted to #19. That’s harsh, BP. CBS does their rankings at weekly intervals, but at different points in the week, so their ranking wasn’t right after the Yankee debacle, which is why they didn’t give a double digit ranking.

Also, people complain that the Indians don’t get much respect from the media. I agree that they don’t get much airtime on ESPN, but you can see by the rankings that the averages of these three are all in the 4 and 5 range. But power rankings don’t bring the fans to the park.

Speaking of fans at the park..I wish more people would get out there and watch the games. Indians fan that live in the Cleveland area can just get up and go to a game. I live in Oklahoma, by the way, so both Tony and I (huge baseball fans) are at least 3-4 hours away from a Major League team. I have never been to Cleveland, but I’d like to someday so I can see the Jake. The moral of the story…go see them play. Who cares if the Cavs are in the finals!

If anybody is reading this and anxiously awaiting what’s next..then I pity you. I’m sure Tony would like to talk about what could be done to make the Rangers contenders in 2008. He’ll make some good points as he is channeling all the pain of this 2007 season into ideas of how to fix the team for next season.

Cory

2007 Draft Review

Before today, I couldn’t pick Blake Beavan out of a lineup. I knew he was from Texas; I knew he was 6-7; I knew that when he was born, the Gods reached down and turned his right arm into a thunderbolt; and I knew that the future of the Rangers depended on Beavan falling to them at #17.

So today I found myself at work checking my cell phone every five minutes to see if I had gotten the text message from Cory assuring me that the golden boy from Irving, who I couldn’t tell from Adam, would be staying in Texas to one day lead the Rangers to the promise land.

At 2:18, I got the message that the Indians, the other team looking closely at Beavan, had opted for Beau Mills and 20 minutes later, the message ‘the rangers take beavan’ assured me that the team’s future was set.

About an hour later my enthusiasm was squashed a bit when I received the message ‘Rangers get cf leadoff guy julio borbon’. I’m no scout and I couldn’t name more than 25-30 guys who were available for the taking in this draft but Julio Borbon was a name that I recognized — unfortunately from the ‘Please God don’t let the Rangers waste a top pick on this guy’ list that I had crudely put together on Notepad the night before.

It’s not so much that I DISLIKE Borbon (although his 6 walks in 174 at bats does make me cringe). It’s the fact that last night I stumbled upon a center fielder from Georgia Tech name Danny Payne who, like Borbon, was entering the draft as a Junior this year. A quick look at their stats the last two years made me wonder why anyone would rather have Borbon.

Both are considered terrific defenders and Payne’s arm earned him a spot as Georgia Tech’s closer while Borbon’s arm is described as ‘below average’. Borbon has two inches on Payne and thus is considered to have the almighty ‘upside’ label applied to him while Payne falls into the David Eckstein ‘limited upside’ category, and we all know you can never win a championship with those Eckstein-type gu…oh, right. Nevermind.

If you had to bet your life on one of these guys being a solid big leaguer in five years, which one would you pick? The guy who has been consistently better over the past two years or the guy who has been hurt, hasn’t been able to control the strike-zone even at the collegiate level, but is two inches taller?

Anyway I decided to do a quick run-down of who The Powers That Be drafted and who yours truly would have gone with instead for the Rangers 1st and 2nd round picks.

Round 1 – #17
Rangers’ pick: Blake Beavan, RHP (HS)
Tony’s pick: Beavan

I’m a sucker for local high-school pitchers. Plus our team ERA is nearing double digits.

Round 1 – #24
Rangers’ Pick: Michael Main, RHP (HS)
Tony’s pick: Rick Porcello, RHP (HS)

Porcello rated as one of the best high-school pitchers in the country but slipped because of signability concerns. When you have two top-25 picks and somebody that talented slides to you at 24, you have to roll the dice. Unless you want to save that extra $6 million dollars to sign Kip Wells this off season. That said, I’m not too upset about the Main pick as he was a top-15 talent by most accounts.

Supplemental Round – #35
Rangers’ pick: Julio Borbon, OF (TENNESEE)
Tony’s pick: Corey Brown, OF (OKLAHOMA STATE)

I may be biased towards the fellow Cowboy, but Brown hit .339 with 21 homers, 23 steals, and 62 walks. I’ll take two, please.

Supplemental Round – #44
Rangers’ pick: Neil Ramirez, RHP (HS)
Tony’s pick: Danny Payne, OF (GEORGIA TECH)

For the reasons outlined above. And yes, this post will be mysteriously deleted if he turns into David Hulse 2.0.

Supplemental Round – #54
Rangers’ pick: Tommy Hunter, RHP (ALABAMA)
Tonys’ pick: Matt Harvey, RHP (HS)

This seems like the right spot to roll the dice on Harvey, a top-15 talent who apparently was asking for first born children in order to sign, because teams were staying away from him like you would a pitcher tossing a no-hitter.

Round 2 – #80
Rangers’ pick: Matt West, 3B (HS)
Tony’s pick: Kyle Russell, OF (TEXAS)

Like Brown, Russell played in one of the toughest conferences in America, and like Brown, Russell raked like he was in little league. He didn’t show the strike-zone recognition that Brown did, but he mashed 28 homers. Give him to Rudy Jaramillo and see if he can’t turn him into Justin Morneau.

So that’s it through two rounds. The Rangers ended up with Beavan, Main, Borbon, Ramirez, Hunter, and West while I get Beavan, Porcello, Brown, Payne, Harvey, and Russell. For the record, I come away with three consensus top-15 talents (all high-school pitchers) and three guys who tore the cover off the ball in top college conferences. On the other hand, I would probably end up wasting $10-12 million that could be given to Jeff DaVanon next winter. I guess that’s why I’m not a big league GM.

Tony

Projected Stats

On days that I have way too much free time, I end up doing stuff like this: going to espn.com and looking at the projected statistics for the entire Indians team. What a life I live..

As you might already know, projected stats are basically the current statistics stretched out over the entire year. So if someone hits a homerun in the first game of the season, they are projected to hit 162 homeruns that year (that will never happen, except Ryan Garko in 2008). So here are some projected statistics for the Indians as of today (June 7th):

Very interesting, huh.. Some of those numbers don’t quite work out..for example, the Dellucci/Michaels combo is projected to have 800+ at bats, which I’m GUESSING they won’t get. Also, Perez only has 11 IP under his belt so far, but his projected stats look nice, don’t they?

Now, what would this be without some kind of reference to a movie? Nothing, that’s what. So we’re going spaghetti western today with The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. I will pick some different numbers from these projected stats that fall under the different categories.

The Good

The power numbers: The first six hitters are projected to hit 20+ homeruns. Four guys are projected to have 90+ RBI.

Victor Martinez: That looks like an MVP season..if he even comes anywhere close to that, as a catcher, that is an insane season.

Ryan Garko: Consistency and pretty decent power at .320 with 22 homers.

Kelly Shoppach: Those would be decent numbers for any catcher, but as a backup catcher..well, then he’s just showin off.

First half of the rotation: Well, obviously. They are projected to have a combined 55-10 record with ERAs ranging from 3.11 to 3.80.

C.C., Byrd, and Betancourt’s K/BB ratio: Pretty much the reason these guys are so successful right now.

Anybody named Rafael: Betancourt makes the bullpen decent. Perez, though in limited play, could only be better if he had a negative ERA. Fultz should change his name to Rafael as well, with his 1.65 ERA and the fact that he is keeping guys off the bases.

Borowski’s saves: I’d take 43 saves. On the other hand..his other numbers..(pulling my collar) yeeeeeeee.

The Bad

Hafner’s numbers: While .272 with 28 homers would be a good season for most, we all know Travis Hafner is more than mere mortal. He could be hitting .320 with a projected 50 homers and nobody would be that surprised. So to say this is bad is a stretch, I guess, but it is just so terribly un-Carl-Farbman-like (Seinfeld reference).

Corner outfielders: Between Michaels, Dellucci, and Trot, you are looking at a projected 28 homers from power positions. That’s not QUITE what you’d like from those spots.

Half of the bullpen: In Charles Dickens’ “Tale of Two Bullpens”, he writes about a group of pitchers (Betancourt, Fultz, and Perez) who are effective and help the team win, then he unfortunately writes about another group (Mastny, Cabrera, and Hernandez) who all have 5.00+ ERAs and are letting close to 1.5-2 runners on per inning (that .5 is when someone like Eddie Gaedel reaches base). I’ve tried to contact Mr. Dickens to tell him to erase the part about the second bullpen, but I found out he’s been dead for over 130 years. As a note of interest, Roberto Hernandez was actually Dickens’ best man. I should lay off the Hernandez-old jokes, but they are too fun.

The Ugly

Half of the rotation: I saved this for the ugly section. Out of Lee, Sowers, and Westbrook, the best ERA is Lee’s 6.35. At their current pace, they are on their way to a smooth 11-28 record, which I think even the Royals would laugh at. Ugly in its own right is Sowers’ 0.76 K/BB ratio. He is the anti-Byrd right now and I hope that he’ll turn it around somehow.

Borowski’s ERA: In a perfect world, your closer comes in, gets the other team 1-2-3, and girls like geeky guys named Tony and Cory. In the Cleveland Indians world, your closer comes in, you take a few shots of Pepto Bismol, and geeky guys named Cory sit at home and write about the projected stats of a baseball team. Basically, what I’m saying is..if Borowski’s ERA was 1.29 instead of 7.29, my life would be totally different.

Mike Rouse: Now, I’m sure Rouse is a nice guy and all but I am not a big fan of the numbers he has put up. You might say…the numbers and I…we don’t get along. It’s not a huge deal, since he isn’t played too often anyway. So that means, even with the feud between me and his statistics, I can get by if I just don’t make eye contact with his statistics when I pass them in the hall.

That weird statement there is my cue to exit. As you can see, I do like to look at baseball stats..so that pretty much makes me the coolest person alive. Maybe I can get Tony to talk about some Rangers projected stats. He is supposed to do some draft analysis, so if he does that, be ready to be amazed.

Cory

Meet Your Hosts

 

Tony’s strikezone was small this game.  I’d catch it on the corner and..nothin.

 

Cory and Tony were raised in a small town in Jamaica where they had dreams of becoming track stars.  However, on the day of the big race, one runner tripped and ruined both of their chances.  Determined to make it to the Olympics, they tried the one thing nobody expected: bobsledding.  Arriving in Calgary, they found that people treated them differently.  Qualifying times were changed, rules were altered..anything to prevent them from competing.  Finally, with a chance to get the gold, they crashed and the crowd fell silent.  Cory said to Tony “Tony..you dead?” to which Tony replied “ya mon.”  They got up and proudly carried their sled to the finish line to the cheers of their own competition.  After this whole ordeal, they decided “hey, why not make a baseball blog?”  And here we are today.

 

Hahahah..oh man, Tony looks like The Predator.